1. |
Perpetrator
03:33
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Up the stairs again, plastic bag in hand
Quick relief for what was supposed to be temporary
59 years, I've been right here
Up in the attic where life was supposed to be temporary
He stayed, he stayed
He said he was waiting, waiting, waiting until it was time
But I swear I know he'll never forget her unwavering eyes
As he squeezed tight
But then he fixed up the garden and painted the garage
There was hope in his eyes
Crawling through the barrage of the worms in his brain
That had eaten away
His sense of direction
The time and the place
That place he would sit and draw pictures for Mom
She still saved them in drawers with the patents from his jobs
So he helped her up and down the stairs
He walked her to church
Even did up her hair
Crash
It was the last time she would ever raise her voice to me
I don't need to be reminded I'm just some drunk divorcee
I spent the last few months cleaning up the debris
The last person to remind me
Should be my ancestry
I just felt finished
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2. |
Witness #1
03:28
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I felt like a pall bearer who came in too late
Picking up scraps of memories from the floor
Her body was gone
But somehow that made me feel it so much more
Cleaning out their drawers
Finding pictures of the good old days before
Finding report cards full of A's
And pictures of Dad while he was still at war
It still creeps up on me
How a man could destroy his whole family
How two hands could intertwine and bring such tragedy
And the neighbors didn't know
It was always just words
No reason to pick up the phone to have him taken away
Please take him away
The way people can hide
When they really need help
Are they just lying to themselves?
Or just to everyone else.
Because it keeps me awake, once a night every few
I'm struggling to find meaning, in the presence of the proof
How didn't I notice
When I claim to be so on cue
How would this have ended
If I didn't pretend that I knew
It still creeps up on me
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3. |
Victim
03:45
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I wrote a note that I wanted out
Up to Michigan near the family plot
Somewhere to mend all my bones
Somewhere he couldn't unplug the phone
But I couldn't leave this house behind
It shared moments of faith, of grace
And now I can finally understand why
I had the looming feeling I'd die here when it came to be my time
I didn't think that I would see the day that there would bark and a bite
I knew he would break his promise
That his brain would get wound up too tight
Get wound up too tight
Three days away he said "Mom, I'll get you something great"
Two days away and now he's falling on his face
So I hid it away for the right time and the place but each morning I'd awake and feel I could fight another day
My husband and I, we married here
We built up a home, raised up the kids
Well its all that you take
All that you take
It was always just words
It was always just words
He crashed down the stairs again
Empty bottle in hand
With such frequency that made me think it was never-ending
Almost 90 years I've been right here
Raising the kids in a house that seemed never-ending
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4. |
Witness #2
04:58
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(She was)
Confused
She pulled back the curtains for a better view
The street engulfed in lights
A sea of blue
Now I have to hold it all together
For my family, for theirs, forever after
I can never show how deep it's dug into my soul
I can never shake the question of how did I not know
But what would have happened if she just spoke the words
That she wanted to get out and it was only getting worse
My heart felt so heavy throwing out their lives
It crept under my skin and into the back of my mind
I wish I could shake it for fix it the rest of my life
Pleading over and over and over and over
I just wish that I could sow it all back together
I just wish that I could sow it all back together
How about you tell me what keeps you awake at night
Is it the planes and the trains
Or just the thought of his bark and the bite
I can't seem to sleep well anymore
Her life was just thrown out like everything in her drawers
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5. |
Location
03:40
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They tore me down to bare bones
Broke down my walls and pried up my floor
They left only what held me up and nothing more
Sometimes you have to turn your back on what was there before
You need to go and start from square one
You can't make believe what you've already done
You have to turn off your mind and see what you've become
Because in the end
All we have is our follow through
Our insatiable appetite to find something fresh and untainted
Something tried and true
Because in the end
All we have is our follow through
That one night changed all their lives. I was a spectator to the sport without any light. A witness to a tragedy I knew I'd never survive. But I guess you never know what other peoples secrets are worth, because you can't shove them all in closets or bury them in dirt,
A place with a stain and a sticker displayed
Misleading the public on things thrown away
Until he broke down
Under the bearing and the hurt
We aren't what we lack
We are all starving for worth
It was like nothing you'd ever seen before
A transformation from a tomb to a home
Now full circle for a family to hold
But still in the back
His garden will grow
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Statistician Chicago, Illinois
10/26/10
Josephine Kestian was strangled by her son, Joseph Kestian in the home where they lived together for
decades. They had been Andrew's neighbors for almost 10 years. Andrew was asked to clean out the house by the family who lived in MI. It was one of the heaviest experiences in his life. Idle Hands is about the things he found, the things he had to throw away, and the story behind it all.
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